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• How the Stepfamily Experience differs from the first family experience
• The Myths and Realities facing Stepfamilies Today
• How to Enhance your Empathy and Understanding within your Family
• Keys to Help Make your 2nd Marriage a Priority
• How to Improve and Increase Positive Communication with Everyone in the Family
• Conflict Resolution Skills for the Whole Family
• How to Avoid Playing the Stepfamily Game
• Parenting Skills in a Stepfamily Setting
• How to Celebrate your Successes
• and Much Much More!

Very few families are exempt from challenges due to myths, unawareness, and unexamined expectations. Stepfamilies are particularly vulnerable to the myths surrounding the realities of living, loving and growing in a stepfamily relationship. Take a moment to download our “Myths and Realities Brochure” to give you a reality check to replace myths with realistic expectations for your stepfamily.

Do you envision your stepfamily like the Brady Bunch, happy and cheerful no matter what problem arises? Or more like Julia Roberts and Susan Sarandon in the movie StepMom, struggling at first then realizing that you each have positive talents and personality traits that the children can benefit from? Are you afraid of becoming the wicked, evil stepmother portrayed in Cinderella or Snow White? Or are you afraid that your new stepchildren will view you as such? Forming a stepfamily isn’t easy, but the results are worth every effort you will make. Read an enticing article on “How to Cook a Stepfamily” that will get your stepfamily moving in the right direction.

So, whether you’re part of a newly formed stepfamily or have been at it for a while, check out Upcoming Classes in your neighborhood, Borrow a Book or DVD from our Lending Library, download Brochures filled with tips and tools to help your stepfamily and marriage succeed, or just browse the site for helpful tips, links, and information. If you have any questions or want to Register for a Class, please Contact Us!

The Wyoming Healthy Marriage Initiative, For Ever After!

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How to Cook a Stepfamily

You are part of a stepfamily, either through your own marriage or perhaps the marriage of a parent, and you don’t know what to expect. You’re excited, a little apprehensive, and wondering if it will all turn out the way you planned.

Will your stepfamily be like the Brady Bunch, happy and cheerful no matter what problem arises? Or will you be more like Julia Roberts and Susan Sarandon in the movie StepMom, struggling at first then realizing that you each have positive talents and personality traits that the children can benefit from? Are you afraid of becoming the wicked, evil stepmother portrayed in Cinderella or Snow White? Or are you afraid that your new stepchildren will view you as such? Forming a stepfamily isn’t easy, but the results are worth every effort you will make.

In forming a new stepfamily, there are many ways to combine your previously separate families. Ron Deal, author of The Smart Stepfamily and Building a Successful Stepfamily, suggests the idea of “cooking” a stepfamily and the ways stepfamilies try to combine. Let’s look at some of the ways to “cook” a stepfamily:

• Food Processor – These families slice and dice various ingredients (individuals) with rapid speed. They attempt to instantly combine each ingredient with every other ingredient. When love doesn’t occur right away, people are left feeling chopped up and torn to pieces. No one remains whole.
• Microwave – These families refuse to be defined as a “stepfamily.” The ingredients are heated in rapid fashion so as to become a nuke-lear family.
• Pressure Cooker – With this cooking style, ingredients and spices (i.e., family rituals, values, and preferences) are put under pressure to either blend or melt together. The family is under great duress. Unfortunately, since expectations are so high, the lid often blows off the pot.
• Tossed – Like a salad, this style throws each ingredient into the air with no consideration as to where it might fall. The ingredients keep some of their integrity, yet they are expected to fit together with the other pieces.
• Blender – With a quick circular motion, this style hopes to whip all the ingredients into a fluid mixture. Ingredients are forced to lose their integrity and their uniqueness. It’s not uncommon for lumps to spoil the taste of the final product, or for someone to get creamed in the process.

None of the above “stepfamily cooking” situations seem appealing. Deal suggests an alternate cooking variation, the Stepfamily Crock Pot.

“Stepfamilies choosing this style understand that time and low heat make for an effective combination. Ingredients are thrown together in the same pot, but each is left intact, giving affirmation to its unique origin and characteristics. Slowly and with much intention, the low level heat brings the ingredients into contact with one another. As the juices begin to flow together, imperfections are purified, and the desirability of each ingredient is added to the taste. The result is a dish of delectable flavor made up of different ingredients that give a part of themselves to produce a wondrous creation that all can enjoy.”

No matter what your previous “cooking style”, you can always stop, transfer the ingredients to the Stepfamily Crock Pot and allow the ingredients to slowly simmer together into something wonderful everyone will be proud of! Recognizing that each family member has unique talents and gifts that will add to the unique ‘flavor’ of your stepfamily is a good first step. The most important ingredients of stepfamily cooking are love, respect and time. So what are you waiting for? Get cooking!

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